


a collection of sadstuck shorts

by resonance_mayb



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, No Romance, No Smut, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26538535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resonance_mayb/pseuds/resonance_mayb
Summary: just some short sadstuck writings i did, might add on to it later i dunno also the asterisk'd words were supposed to be italicized but i'm too lazy to figure out how to italicize stuff in ao3
Kudos: 6





	a collection of sadstuck shorts

There was so much I still wanted to tell you. Before I died, I mean. I wanted to sit and watch shitty Nic Cage movies at some unholy hour. I wanted to talk a8out anything and everything with you. 8ut I couldn’t. I died.  
I looked for you. Day after day. You had to 8e here, you had to. I knew you had to. I kept looking. I knew I had to find you. The only thing I didn’t know was if you hated me yet. Like everyone else did.  
I kept looking. Until I found… someone. 

John: hi! what’s your name? 

8ut that wasn’t you, was it? 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

DAVE: i wish id been there  
DAVE: for you i mean  
DAVE: when it mattered  
DAVE: all those times that i couldve helped but i was out with some bullshit  
DAVE: i couldve been there but i wasnt  
DAVE: and now look where it got us  
DAVE: youre dead  
DAVE: and its my fault  
DAVE: if i was there any time sooner it wouldve been okay  
DAVE: i couldve saved you  
DAVE: but i didnt  
DAVE: i was too late  
DAVE: seems pointless to scream about it now that youre dead  
DAVE: but its like how im too late to stop myself  
DAVE: stop myself from holding this sword  
DAVE: with the tip pointed at me

––––––––––––––––––––––––

EQUIUS: D--> You let me die Nepeta  
EQUIUS: D--> I am ashamed to call you my moirail  
NEPETA: :33< equius, please, i tried to avenge you!  
EQUIUS: D--> Only after I died  
NEPETA: :33< you told me to hide!  
NEPETA: :33< i was keeping myself safe like you wanted me to!  
EQUIUS: D--> And yet you were close enough to see me die  
EQUIUS: D--> And close enough to go after Gamzee  
NEPETA: :33< …  
EQUIUS: D--> Get away from me, peasantblood  
EQUIUS: D--> I have better things to do

Your name is NEPETA LEIJON, and your moirail has just left you. You’re completely alone. 

Your name is EQUIUS ZAHHAK, and you just left your former moirail. 

You’re both dead, so what does it matter? 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

To say you had it coming would be an understatement. 

You constantly hit on everyone, sure, but you knew it didn’t matter. They would all die before you. Which is why you wanted to be with Feferi, because she was the only one that would outlast you. But even she didn’t want you. Nobody did. What happened next… there was no reason. You don’t know why you did what you did. You destroyed hope for your species, knocked out Sollux, killed Kanaya, and then murdered the one troll you could have loved: Feferi.  
After that, you ran away, not thinking properly. Why did you kill them? Why?  
Then you arrived at that moment. On the roof, standing with Vriska and Gamzee. Surely, it would be a horrid fight. Nothing good would come from it.  
And yet, Kanaya was there.  
Somehow, she came back to life.  
And she killed you. 

Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA, and you destroyed all hope for survival.  
Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA, and you killed the only troll you had a chance with.  
Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA, and you are no longer alive.

––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Daaaaave, wait up!” Jade whined, stumbling over the rocky trail up the mountain. “You still haven’t told me where we’re going!”  
Dave didn’t look back at her, continuing at his brisk pace. “We’re going to the top of the mountain to watch the sunset, like old times.”  
“But we can see the sunset from your house!” Jade struggled to keep up.  
“It’s... prettier up here.” A certain look shone in Dave’s eyes, yet they were hidden behind his sunglasses. 

The two reached the top. Dave sat down on a rock, patting the area next to him.  
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Dave asked, looking out at the horizon. There was no reply. He chuckled a little bit, yet with a hint of sadness. He stood up, walking over to the edge of the mountainside. It was a sheer drop to sharp rocks below.  
“Guess it’s time to go.”  
He looked down over the edge.  
“See you soon, Jade.”

There was no Jade. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

Karkat’s body shook with sniffles and sobs as Kanaya gently rubbed his back. “They’re dead because of me, Kanaya. I got them killed.”  
“You did everything you could. You have been, and still are, a great leader.” Kanaya patted his back, keeping the shorter troll in a warm embrace. “You’ve protected the rest of us, haven’t you?”  
Karkat sniffled, tears freely flowing. “Well- yeah- but that’s not going to stop them from being dead. It’s my fault.”  
“You still have the rest of us, Karkat. We’re here to help, and you’re our leader. Those that have passed are surely watching over us now, thinking about how you led them bravely.”  
Karkat didn’t reply at first, yet he did after a second. “I- I guess you’re right.” He blinked a few times, the flow of tears finally slowing.  
Kanaya kept Karkat in her embrace, rubbing his back comfortingly. “If anything else happens, I will always be here.” 

Those were Kanaya’s last words to Karkat. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

*Tuesday*

*It’s been… about a year, I’d say, since… that happened. I still live alone, mainly for old time’s sake. Thrill of the hunt, chaps. But it’s really lost its thrill. There’s nothing left here. I just live alone to make it seem… normal. Like before. When I didn’t know any of them.*

Jake sighed, closing his notebook. He stood up, looking out his bedroom window. The sun was just setting, the last of the light fading below the horizon as his room gently descended into darkness. A certain old song played itself in his head, reminding him of that painful day. 

“Dude, relax. I’m literally walking down the block, buying some shit, then walking back.” Dirk leaned against the front door.  
“Well yes but cars and stuff! I don’t mean to be overprotective but just don’t take any absurd risks!” Jake spoke hurriedly, his tone higher pitched than usual.  
“I won’t, calm your tits.”  
“I just…” His voice quieted. “I don’t want to lose you. Not after what happened.”  
Dirk pushed off the door and pulled Jake into a hug. “I swear, I’ll be fine. I’ll be back in ten minutes, tops.”  
“Okay. Be careful.” 

Ten minutes passed. Dirk wasn’t back.  
Twenty minutes.  
Forty minutes.  
An hour. Jake hadn’t left the main area, frantically calling Dirk’s phone. And yet there was never an answer. He marched out of the door, looking around and calling for Dirk on his own. Yet there was never a reply. 

Dirk’s body was found three days later under a bridge. 

Jake’s memory went back further than that, though. He recalled Jane, their fond memories together.  
And some… not quite as fond memories. 

Jake clenched Jane’s hand over the hospital bed. She coughed again, tensing up. “Jake… thank you. For staying with me.”  
“Jane, you’re my best friend. Of course I’ll stay. I’ll be here for when you get better, too.”  
“That’s…” Jane took a ragged breath. “Jake, I’m not getting better.”  
Jake’s face fell. “Y… what?” He stuttered, feeling tears begin to prick his eyes.  
“I don’t have long. Go…” She fell into a horrid, wheezing coughing fit. “Go be with Dirk.” 

She was declared dead an hour later. 

Roxy took matters into her own hands. She was found dead in her room. 

Leaving Jake, the last one alive. 

*Still Tuesday.*

*I’m done. I can’t take it. I’ve got to see them again.*

Jake was found dead within the hour, after the neighbors complained about a gunshot from his house. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

Gamzee dropped his clubs, not listening to their dull thud echoing down the hall. He stared down at his hands, still covered in fresh blood. He said nothing, keeping his gaze solely on his bloodstained fingers. Distant voices rang through the hallways, shouting over new deaths. Still, Gamzee remained perfectly silenced. He couldn’t let this emotion show. The others only knew him sober or high, no in-betweens. He had to keep his emotion secret. He had to stay hidden.  
Footsteps thudded down the hallway, accompanied by two voices Gamzee could easily recognize: Kanaya and Terezi. He saw them come to a stop where he was.  
Gamzee picked up his clubs slowly, hearing the unsheathing of Terezi’s cane and the whirring of Kanaya’s chainsaw.  
“I’m sorry…” He whispered under his breath, completely inaudible to the other two trolls. He sprung to attack. 

Purple blood spattered the halls that night. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

It was about half past midnight. John lay in his bed, curled up under a single blue blanket. His exhales came out in short breaths, choking in his throat. His eyes were squeezed tight, yet tears still escaped. John was crying. His thoughts taunted him, hissing at his tears.  
*Man up, you little wimp. Men don’t cry.*  
John’s body shook, his weeping intensifying. He begged for his thoughts to stop, pleading just to sleep. It was late, he wanted it to be morning so he could talk to his friends.  
Yet, deep down, he knew his ‘friends’ didn’t want to hear from him. He was just burdening them, being ‘that one annoying friend’. John knew that they didn’t want him around.  
The boy stood up, looking to get a drink of water. There was no cake to greet his foot. There were no candles. It was only darkness. The sound of tap filling up a glass temporarily filled his room before he shut it off, downing the water. The moonlight was *just* enough to let John catch his reflection in the mirror.  
His face was in bad shape. There were noticeable bags under his eyes, indicative of his lack of sleep. His face was red from crying, tears staining his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut tight and returned to his bed, once again curling up in a ball under the sheets. After another hour, John finally managed to fall asleep.  
He woke up that morning tired and still in a numb, sad state. After putting on his glasses, he hopped on his computer and opened up Pesterchum. He clicked on Dave’s handle and as his mouse hovered over the ‘chat!’ button, he thought better of himself. He shut off the computer, instead opening his window. Some local neighborhood kids were out playing in the nearly-cloudless sunshine. John gazed down at them. Oh, how he wished he could fit in.  
His gaze crept over to a drawer, one where he kept rope. John slowly walked over to the drawer, opening it. There was already a noose tied.  
John shook his head, clearing his thoughts. No. No suicide. He slammed the drawer shut, taking out a random book.  
Two days passed. Nothing got better. A few of his friends tried to reach him on Pesterchum, but he didn’t have the strength to reply. 

TT: John, are you there? Is everything alright? 

TG: john dude you ok its been like 2 days

Just then, a new message dinged from his computer. 

GG: john, it’s been two days now. i’m worried and i’m coming to visit. dave is too. 

John took a look at the message, once again not replying. He stayed in his chair, his head resting down on his shoulder in a slumped position. His thoughts once again returned, taunting him.  
*Cmon, John, it’s not that hard.*  
John tried to clear his head, but the thoughts wouldn’t leave.  
*You know everyone would be better off without you. You’re just a burden. Take a look at Jade and Dave, for example. They have to come all out here just to see if you’re okay because you’re a little sad? Pathetic. You’re weighing them down.*  
John’s gaze swept over to the drawer.  
*That’s the spirit.*  
He made his way over to the drawer. He could hear a car pull up in the driveway.  
John opened it, taking out the noose. He stood up on his bed, tying it to the fan’s base. John was light, it could support him. He could hear Jade and Dave’s voices entering the house. They knew where the spare key was.  
John scribbled one last note, setting it on the bed.  
He set himself into the noose.  
His door burst open…  
One second too late. 

*everyone,  
i’m sorry for being such a burden. i wish i could be a true friend, not some annoying kid that nobody wants to hear from. so i hope that with this, you guys can be a real friend group now, without the stupid annoying nerdy guy. 

\-- john.* 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has begun trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at [15:46] --  
GC: D4V3  
GC: 1 FUCK3D UP  
GC: B1G T1M3  
TG: whats the deal  
GC: 1  
GC: 1 K1LL3D VR1SK4  
GC: 1 D1D 1T SO J4CK WOULDN’T F1ND US  
GC: 1F SH3 W3NT TO F1GHT HIM W3 WOULD ALL D13  
TG: okay and  
GC: W3LL  
GC: 1 DUNNO  
GC: 1T JUST F33LS SO *WRONG*  
GC: W3 B4S1C4LLY GR3W UP 4S S1ST3RS  
GC: BUT NOW 1V3 K1LL3D H3R  
TG: tz im sorry  
TG: thats gotta suck  
TG: i dunno what else to say  
GC: TH4TS OK  
GC: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO T4LK TO SOM3ON3  
GC: SOM3ON3 1 COULD TRUST  
GC: SOM3ON3 WHO TRUSTS M3  
TG: well fear not i trust you  
TG: and will be around should you wanna talk bout whatever shit comes up  
GC: TH4NK YOU D4V3  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at [16:00] --

\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has begun trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at [16:34] --  
GC: D4V3  
GC: D4V3 PL34S3 T3LL M3 TH4TS NOT YOU  
GC: PL34S3 T3LL M3 TH4TS F4K3  
GC: B3 4L1V3 D4MM1T  
GC: OK H4H4 FUNNY NOW W4K3 UP  
GC: W4K3 UP D4V3 PL4Y T1M3S OV3R  
GC: *W4K3 UP*  
GC: D4V3 PL34S3  
GC: PL34S3  
GC: 1 C4NT LOS3 YOU TOO  
\-- gallowsCalibrator [GC] has gone offline --

––––––––––––––––––––––––

Dave held Jade tight in his arms, keeping her pulled close against his chest. He struggled out a few words.  
“It’s okay, I’ll protect you. You’ve got a Strider on your side.”  
Blood choked his voice.  
All sorts of wounds covered Dave’s back, leaving his blood to seep out slowly. He held Jade with his back pointed away, protecting her from whatever was intending to harm her.  
“Dave, please… go, get help…” Jade said through tears. She sobbed against Dave’s chest, her chest heaving with heavy breaths.  
“No, Jade. I said I’d protect you. ‘Til the day… day I die.” Dave’s own eyes began to wet with tears. These were his final moments, and he knew it.  
“Dave, *please*!” Jade cried out, clutching Dave in his last breaths.  
“I love you, Jade.”  
“Please, Dave, I can’t lose you!”  
“..goodbye..”  
With that, Dave’s final breath escaped.  
Jade held his now lifeless body, her tears spilling out onto his shirt.  
He was gone. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

“Do you remember, Rose?” Kanaya’s voice was weak, each word choked out between coughs.  
“I remember, Kanaya,” Rose said through tears. “I remember all of it.” She held Kanaya’s hand in hers, kneeled down on the ground next to her.  
“We made it this far,” the troll said, jade blood seeping out through several wounds in her stomach. “We almost made it.”  
“I know, thanks to you.”  
Kanaya closed her eyes for a second before reopening them. “I presume that means my work is finished.”  
“It’s not, Kanaya,” Rose begged. “You have to stay here, with me.”  
“You know I can’t stay, darling, I have to go.”  
“No, please, Kanaya, you can stay.”  
“Goodbye, Rose.”  
“Kanaya, please, stay awake, you’ll be… ” Rose trailed off into tears as life exited Kanaya’s body. Her eyes gently slipped shut. The human wailed in grief, yet nobody could hear. Rose’s sobs dissolved into whimpers and tears as she stayed with Kanaya’s now lifeless body for hours as the sun set once more. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

Lord Jack let out a howling screech and shot a beam of energy from his mouth, knocking Dave down over the edge of the building. Dirk scrambled over to his brother, pulling him up while Terezi held the two enemies at bay. Dave recovered, holding his sword at the ready. Dirk sprung back into battle, swinging at Lord Jack. The blade clipped across Lord Jack’s chest, barely scraping it as Dirk received a knee to the gut. As he stood up to recover, he felt the giant staff of Lord Jack close around his neck. He pulled his sword up, inches from his face, holding the golden staff at bay. He heard Robo Jack pull Lord Jack into a chokehold as Dave stood up, his face downcast under his shades.  
The red Strider only spoke three words.  
“I’m sorry, bro.”  
Dave jumped forward and sliced neatly through every neck in the chain, including Dirk’s. He time traveled back and caught Dirk’s body and head, then traveled out to safety.  
For Dirk, it was over in an instant. One second, he heard Dave whispering. The second, his vision ceased. He was dead. But he knew Jane would revive him soon, right? 

Dave sat on the fields of Jake’s planet, sobbing. Terezi consoled him. Dirk’s body lay next to the two, his head separated. Dirk never woke up. 

––––––––––––––––––––––––

*Cool kids don’t cry.* 

I stood on the frosted-over grass at the bus stop, listening to the crunch of it under my feet. The bus was late again, as per usual, so I idly browsed through 4Chan on my phone. I wasn’t really paying attention to any of the posts, just wasting time.  
Which is what I did best.  
Wasted time, wasted space, wasted everyone’s energy.  
I sniffled.  
The bus pulled up to a stop and opened its doors.  
I made my way onto the bus, making sure my shades were on and my headphones were around my neck.  
One of the kids called to me from the back of the bus. “Yo, Dave, you alright?”  
I sniffled again, trying to keep my voice level. “Y-yeah, I’m fine.” I struggled to keep my tears in.

*Cool kids don’t cry.* 

As I got home, I went straight to my room without a second look at Bro. I closed the door gently, slamming my backpack against it. I flopped over on my bed with a sigh of defeat.  
Defeat from what?  
Life. I failed. I had no friends, I was weak, I was unlovable, and I couldn’t show emotion at all. I sat up, looking over to my desk drawer.  
Getting up, I pulled it open and took out a small razor blade.  
I drew it across my left wrist, drawing blood on the first slice.  
*Keep it together, Dave.*  
I did it again, cutting deeper.  
*You know what they say.*  
After several more cuts, I threw the razor down and fell over to the ground. I curled into a ball.  
Tears flowed from my eyes.  
*Cool kids don’t cry.*


End file.
